Chris: this sounds a lot like I used to be. I used to, every day, cook and clean up afterwards, do everyone's laundry, give DD3 her bath, and got to relax at about 9pm. That changed a while back when I realized that I was getting resentful and feeling as if I was being taken advantage of. Cooking for dinner is sporadic now, and when I do, I insist that she help clean up. I only do my laundry and my older kids' laundry (her stepkids) while she is responsible for hers and DD3's. (This was a big help, as I seemed to only get criticized for the way I did her laundry). I still give DD3 her bath, but sometimes W does it.
I say this to you and ask whether you are feeling resentful of doing the tasks you are doing? Do you feel as if you are doing well over 50 percent of the work? For no "return"?
I think it's fairly easy for Ws to turn on their "resentment detector."
Not that the EC or the LMing got better of more frequent when I cut my work output, but at least I feel less resentment, and I am only responsible for what I want to be responsible.
