Quote: Most of us HDH are wimps. We like living in our little delusional worlds that we've created for ourselves. We've done stupid things (letting our LDW control when we have sex; not wanting to initiate LM because we don't want to get shot down or denied; being passive-aggressive and doing things to piss LDW off, only so we can "make up and ML" and pretend to stand up for ourselves) for so long and now don't know how to take a stand for ourselves.
To make you HDH's feel better, I for one, have that same problem of sticking to it...
Even before I came home last night and read what was going on here, I was feeling sorry for myself all day, feeling old, fat, ugly...and getting mad that I've done this to myself over a man...
H has been picking fights all week, probably his way of defending myself, and it's sooooo easy for me to slip into the 'look, it's not working!!' mode of thinking. Part of me just wants to give up and run away.
I've (we've?) been doing it for so long, it's become a habit. For me, anyway, it's a damn hard habit to break. H has been throwing at me all week that 'see, I told you it would be better if I didn't say anything...' Strange how we want to hold on to what we've been doing, even if it makes us miserable!
I remember telling a friend, way back before I found this board, that I was really scared of doing anything 'cause it felt like jumping off a cliff. It still does, but at least now I can almost see what's below.
