Wow, hey, this has started some good discussion on waning desire with a spouse. And I thought I was the only one. Thanks for all of the thoughts. The whole SSM and PM journey has been quite enlightening!

It's no wonder so many of our LD spouses "hate" that we're reading these types of books and starting/continuing to question the status quo... like sticks in the mud, they can squirm a little, but if they don't choose to go with our flow, they break. By becoming more self- and less other- with things, we're actually becoming more independent! This is all the while we're in a committed R, where self- sometimes (often?) is overlooked.

Like SM and WB and others here, I'm finding that my desire for sex with my W has cooled off for now. I don't like to be bitter towards my W about anything, but with this whole PM self-validated intimacy concept, I am questioning a lot of foundations of my M and finding that I am upset with how my W is handling things (namely, by NOT talking to me more and NOT reading the SSM book and NOT initiating more, even after I told her that 2 times a week would be greatly appreciated).

Selfishly speaking, the way that my W loves me seems not to be enough for me anymore. Is that possible? I suppose it is, since she hasn't really gone out of her way to tell me how she feels. I think it's time for the crucible to make an appearance.

- Chris.