Speaking up - here we go

[MJontheMend]

I can't quite figure out if you were telling me that I'm an ass or if you were telling me that I am doing OK. Clue me in, please.

Since you are the HD partner in your marriage, I just found your statement a bit odd. If my LD husband really felt that way, I would think he was an *ss.

I too went through a phase of feeling more LD or I would say less HD in this process. I think this is due to a few factors. First, as you become less dependent on sex for validation you naturally lose a bit of sexual neediness and this can feel like LD. Secondly, as you go through the process your emotional-fusion that was previously "needy" might become more like "distance" or "anger" and this might translate into a re-direction of your sex drive away from your spouse. Lastly, if you come to see your spouse as someone who genuinely doesn't like sex as much as you do, you can view them as kind of pathetic and therefore not very sexually appealing.

I think I'm kind of getting past this phase. I don't feel LD at all in general and I do find my H sexually appealing. I'm just not sure if I can accept having sex for the rest of my life with someone who doesn't think sex is important and isn't very passionate about it in general and I'm not sure if my H will be able to change in this way.