Enlightened: My story is "new to this". I just found the site and the book yesterday. I have really screwed up by going about things in a totally nut-case manner. I begged, pleaded, spied, got friends to help me spy, went to see the OW, threatened them both---and ultimately pushed him farther away. I wasted good money that I didn't have on phone tapping and a private investigator---and all I got was more pain. I even called her brother and asked him to counsel her on homewrecking and the effects it would have on her two kids. This really pissed off my H, and she dumped him, which p'o'd him even further. After spending hours at this site and reading everyones' advice and feedback, I too am becoming enlightened. I can totally empathize with what you are going through. I hope I can get him to read DB. I think he will see a lot of us in there. Good luck! Wish I had some advice for you, but what I do have is kindred spirits and hope for us all. What really helps me is no longer feeling like I'm going through this alone. GG
