Quote: It seems pretty obvious that he is indicating that the two of you need to build emotional connection, but I think it's interesting that he said that he "can't" have sex with you. He is not acknowledging that at some level he has a choice in the matter. He is choosing to avoid opportunities for physical intimacy with you that might lead to arousal. Perhaps the "hugging until relaxed" exercise would be helpful in your situation.
It's very similar to how he deals with other things - H can't put the cup in the dishwasher because he doesn't like the way I do, or make his own food 'cause he can't figure out how I organize the kitchen. Maybe that's how his mind works, but to me it sounds like an excuse (and I did tell him that).
He did mention last night that if I were more positive, it would help, and I pointed out that the last few times I tried to say something nice to him, he had pulled away, and grumpily pointed out something I had done wrong. He agreed, but didn't offer a solution.
So in spite of getting somewhere with the conve, I still feel sort of left in the cold as to how to progress. I guess right now I just continue working on me, and being pleasant, and hoping that at some point H notices?
