Quote: It went round and round for a while, finally H blurted out 'I don't know why I can't'. Even though it doesn't sound like much, it felt as if he was finally saying something. It felt like a wall came down. Finally H said that when I yelled and brought up D, (something I haven't done in over a year) it hurt, and he hadn't got over that hu
It seems pretty obvious that he is indicating that the two of you need to build emotional connection, but I think it's interesting that he said that he "can't" have sex with you. He is not acknowledging that at some level he has a choice in the matter. He is choosing to avoid opportunities for physical intimacy with you that might lead to arousal. Perhaps the "hugging until relaxed" exercise would be helpful in your situation.
P.S. Don't feel bad for being impatient. There isn't even a word to describe how impatient I would be if I hadn't had sex in 7 years. You are the very model of restraint and forbearance in that regard.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
