Quote: I have to say I am a bit concerned with the way your H treats you. This very much sounds like an emotionally abusive relationship to me, so I urge you to proceed with caution. Do I think he'll hit you or something? No... but when you are dealing with someone emotionally controlling, they can erupt in very loud/mean ways that can be quite, quite startling and hurtful.
Corri,
I read your post last night before I left work, and on my long drive home, I wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry. No, I don't think he'll hit. But yes, he does yell. The main reason I 'backed down' after starting to state my needs a couple of years ago was that he did get very loud, and worse, got very loud with the kids - to the point of scareing them (and me). He has broken things in front of them. I do step in then, and ask him to go out for a walk and cool off, and I have asked him many times not to take his anger towards me out on the kids, which does cool him off. But I'm not home to put the girls to bed in the evening...I know so far this fall things have been a lot cooler.
But I guess that's part of why I tend to go slow...
Thank you for your advice on how to handle the convos!!!!! I have been able, pretty well to keep things on track when we had been talking about sex, but here, and in other places where he starts in on my voice, or my grammar, etc, it threw me, and I really do feel as though maybe I was in the wrong...and as I have said, I always feel drained after talking with H, about almost anything.
