Quote: H came down later, and announced 'I'm going to leave my cup on the counter because I can't figure out your system of loading the washer, and I don't want to have to take everything out and start again'.
Unless you are in the habit of b*tching at him when he leaves a cup on the counter, this was obviously an aggressive move. Perhaps he knows that if he makes you lose your temper, he gains advantage in an argument. I had to learn to address issues with my H without breaking down and crying and apologizing. You need to learn to address issues with your H without losing your temper and then having to feel bad/apologetic because you feel it is wrong to lose your temper. What if you had said ' I couldn't care less about the cup. Let's talk about our sex life.". What if you were to say something like this in response to every petty issue your H brings up in order to "get your goat"?
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
