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So, was there any progress last night?




Yesterday we took the kids to their cousin's 4th b day. Long ride, but it was fun.

We got home, and I made dinner, put the kids to bed, and cleaned up. H came down later, and announced 'I'm going to leave my cup on the counter because I can't figure out your system of loading the washer, and I don't want to have to take everything out and start again'.

I figured I've started this...I lost it. Actually, it was a calm loosing it I finally calmed down enough to get him to listen to me...after a few minutes of setting out the perameters of the convo (don't talk long, don't raise your voice...)

It really feels like an excuse when you say you can't find a place to fit your cup in. Can't we reach some kind of compromise, why is it that your way has to be right? I did make dinner, and clean up afterwards, and when you come and complain about how I do it, it does feel like you don't appreciate that (this took a while to get out, as I was interrupted several times to tell me that my voice was rising, which was making my frustration level rise).

H then went back to emptying the dishwasher. I went into the living room to wait for him, then decided against it. It was late, I was exhausted, and I didn't really feel like giving him the reassurance that everything was ok. H spent another hour or so cleaning the kitchen. It did take a lot for me to calm myself down and get to sleep.

I sort of felt that I needed to say that and not let it slide, and to h*ll with whether or not it was right or good to say that. I worry too much about how H feels, not to mention about how others see me...I'm afraid of making mistakes. Now I'm going to have to hold onto myself with the fallout from that one.