Are you at the point where you don't care whether or not H likes you? I just ask because I think you have a lot to say to H that he's not going to appreciate, but "sugar coating" your words is NOT an option anymore. If you don't care whether or not he likes you, you can say them more easily.
After so many years of accommodating H, he's not going to like having to "work on things" now. I know because my W is the same way. I bring up issues, and she says, "oh, is that a problem?" or "should I be worried about that?" Answer a question with a question. Answer a statement with a question. Never accept responsibility if you don't have to. Grrrrrrrrrrr. It's frustrating.
