Mo, J33 I'm watching you to see if this is possible. To see if things can change, permanently. I know the danger in that is that we're all different inspite of the similarities on the surface, but it's something, anyway.
Heapmom, you raise a good question. Will things change permanently? Honestly, I think nothing is permanent, especially not in a relationship. But I do know one thing. We will never go back to the way we were, because I have changed. In that sense, it is permanent.
H and I have gone through many cycles of coming close and drawing apart. This happened because I would blow, and he would react by giving me what I wanted. But it never lasted because I was just going after what I wanted without looking at the bigger picture. This is not true anymore. I think H is slowly realizing this too.
The bottomline is that I have told him that I would do what I had to in order to make it work as well. I am willing to listen, to change and love him in the way he wants to be loved. But I was done living in denial. I was done living in a sexless marriage. Rinse and repeat. I have been crystal clear about this.
