You need to "throw yourself at your H" and ML already... no matter what his excuses are, don't accept them. Break the ice. Attack him. Get him alone and get him "in the mood" somehow. Show him that you want to reconnect physically. Do it before he goes back to work, or do it during his first week back to work.
If he lacks enthusiasm, just "do" him instead. Just do it. See how it goes.
Then, evaluate how it went. Did it help him feel more relaxed? Was he smiling more the following day? Is he more agreeable to talking?
Evaluate yourself too. Was ML all that you wanted it to be after so many years? Did you get what you wanted? Was it worth the aggravation of all the thoughts about what could go wrong?
After all, he's your H. What's a M without sex besides just a friendship? Is he just a source of money for you and the kids, or is he needed around the house?
