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It's pathetic how similar your situation is to mine. The only real difference is you are someone who loses her temper when upset and I am someone who either puts on a fake smile or cries when pushed to the brink. Also, my H would never even go to the trouble of buying a phone for my daughter. She would remain forever phoneless until it got to the top of my TO DO list. Do you sometimes feel like your H sucks all the energy out of you? Do you think you would find it kind of relaxing if he traveled a lot like my H does now?




Yes, I do feel that H sucks the energy out of me, yes, I would find it very relaxing if H traveled a lot, and it is absolutely about hugs (and any other form of affection/support) as well as sex!

My H doesn't drink - really almost not at all, which I suspect may have to do with the fact that his Dad does (but he does snore, which is why I'm sitting here right now ). I've wondered sometimes if he 'withholds' sex, but I'm not sure if that's really a contious thing. I know H is nowhere near as comfortable in bed(=with himself??) as your H seems to be.

Last summer, the 6 weeks in the states were the most relaxing vacation I've had in a long time. I had to keep telling myself that singlemotherhood would only be like that if I were independently wealthy ie could afford to be home most of the time, and have live-in help (I stayed most of the time with my Dad + his W, a wonderful woman who enjoyed taking care of us) so I would go back.

The phone annoyed me, because even though H said it was a spur of the moment thing, I know it was very premeditated. Kids here don't have regular school days - different length days every day and H had gone to pick up D8 after I had picked up D6 an hr or so before. That annoyed him, but he didn't say anything. Later after I left for work, he dropped all the kids but D8, and went to pick up a wedding present for his bro. So H claims he was just looking for a new phone for him - but he made the point of only taking D8 along. H didn't want to ask me beforehand, because he knew I might disagree - or at least want to discuss it beforehand.

Honestly, just a phone call would have worked, and H should have known that about me as well.

Right now I still can only be annoyed at H for anything BUT sex, 'cause he's still got a wall the size of China's around that. And I have so much resentment I'm not sure how interested I am in scaling that wall I keep telling myself that if H realized (remembered?) how good sex can be, things would get better, H would be more relaxed, friendlier, etc...but there's still that voice in the back of my head...