heap,

If this is "all about sex" and not about other parts of your M, then it makes sense to focus on ML with your H as "The Issue" that needs to be addressed first. Seeing as this message thread is under the SSM section on DB.com, that fits. However, if (like me) you have a "Love-Starved Marriage" or "Communication-Starved Marriage" then things get a bit more difficult.

You have a difficult message to convey to your H, and he has already shown his unwillingness to talk about it. To me, this means that you have to anticipate his reactions, realize that he will deflect your attention to other matters, and make him see that you won't give up on what you need to say to him. You have started doing that, and that's great! Now you have to follow through and "keep your promises" about setting a date and having a plan for that date.

Good luck with things... and if you have a chance, see PM pages 134-135 (Chapter 5, subheading "What Is Human Sexual Desire?") for a short discussion on cultural issues in sexual desire. The blurb about the Irish folks having sex without removing their clothes was "interesting."

- Chris.