The convo you had with your H is sickeningly familiar to me. Your H is probably like my H in that he thinks of himself as being a "nice, sensitive" guy. Therefore, if you aren't happy with him, you are just too demanding. Don't you know how lucky you are to be with a man who represses his aggressive tendencies and his sex drive!
IMO you haven't put enough "pressure" on him yet. He's just barely acknowledging that you have a point and he's definitely trying to set the pace for you. It's not up to him to decide what you want or deserve in terms of a sex life. His only decision to make is whether he thinks saving your marriage is worth dealing with his sexual inadequacy. I would definitely take it up a notch or two if you feel differentiated enough to do it and not fall apart.
Quote: This ain't gonna be about sex for a looooooonggggggg time, folks, so if you think I'd be better off somewhere else, let me know?
Don't let him set the pace! This can be about sex tomorrow if you are differentiated enough. Since you are obviously considering leaving him, why not make a bold move to try and fix things? You could at least tell him "I understand that in your opinion it's going to take a long time and a lot of work before you are willing to have sex with me. I find that somewhat ridiculous since I could go out to (Finnish equivalent of singles bar) and have sex tonight if that is what I wanted. If an absolute stranger would want to have sex with me, why doesn't the man who claims to love me?".
My new theory about LDHs (take with a grain of salt because I have PMS today ) is that many of them are actually way more sexually kinky than any HD. Unlike many LDWs, they actually have sex drives. The reason they can't express their sex drives is that they are emotional masochists. They are so uptight they can't feel passion unless their emotions are freed through the experience of emotional pain. It is the mental/emotional equivalent of someone whose physical "kink" is that they can only get aroused through physical pain. Thus, I get laid when I make my H jealous and HP gets laid when she expresses her anger. If you are like me, I'm sure you'd be thrilled at the simple pleasure of someone wanting to have sex with you just because you are a nice woman with attractive "nouns".
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
) is that many of them are actually way more sexually kinky than any HD. Unlike many LDWs, they actually have sex drives. The reason they can't express their sex drives is that they are emotional masochists. They are so uptight they can't feel passion unless their emotions are freed through the experience of emotional pain. It is the mental/emotional equivalent of someone whose physical "kink" is that they can only get aroused through physical pain. Thus, I get laid when I make my H jealous and HP gets laid when she expresses her anger. If you are like me, I'm sure you'd be thrilled at the simple pleasure of someone wanting to have sex with you just because you are a nice woman with attractive "nouns". 
