HP, I was fighting the tears, but once I 'psyched' myself up, and started, I realized, I'm a performer, teacher, and mother of four. This ain't all that different, and way more important, so I was able to dig in.
CN,
Yes my H is very squeamish about any kind of physical touch. Finns in general keep more 'personal space' around themselves culturally than even Americans. But I think for H his own family didn't help matters. And he responds in this foot dragging, avoidence way to most topics that need to be discussed.
SM,
I've been thinking about what you said about putting him in a dilema. I think right now the fact that I stated things straightout caugh him enough off guard that he will think, but I know I need a plan if I want to make it work. One of my thoughts was that I could move into the guest room. I would like to have an 'exit' plan. Which for me would need to include some way of financially being able to somewhat stand on my own feet. Not that I'd leave, but it would give me a lot more confidence, and leverage. I do own half this house, and have a smallish account in my name in the States, but as you might imagine, it would be difficult, to say the least, to raise 4 kids on a flute teacher's salary. I'm not willing right now, while the kid's are young to take a second job, and it's difficult even to find time to do the stuff necessary to start getting playing gigs.
i spent yesterday (tues) in a sort of confused fog as I started to see all the fusion in my life and R, and really feeling like I wanted to just go off to a deserted (or desserted ) island somewhere. Part of the problem is that I don't have a chance to complete any thought while my little ones make their necessary demands . So when D8 woke up a little while ago coughing, I found myself still tossing and turning when I tried to get back to sleep, which is why I came here. I've got lots more to write, but more importantly right now, I can still squeeze in an hour or so of sleep, so I'll finish writing later.
) island somewhere. Part of the problem is that I don't have a chance to complete any thought while my little ones make their necessary demands 
. So when D8 woke up a little while ago coughing, I found myself still tossing and turning when I tried to get back to sleep, which is why I came here. I've got lots more to write, but more importantly right now, I can still squeeze in an hour or so of sleep, so I'll finish writing later. 
