Well, I did it last night. Talk that is. I don't remember the exact words, but it went something like this:

H was downstairs reading when I read HP's post, and had my epiphany. So I 'psyched' myself up, then went down to talk.

I sat on the coach, and was surprised that H didn't ask me to leave, actually moved his foot over to touch my leg.

Me 'Are you in a place (in the book) where you can stop for a while?'

H (flips through the pages) 'No, not really....why, do you have something to say?' (who is this man that replaced my H????)

Me 'I'm not very happy with the fact that we've only ML once in the past 7 yrs'

H his little laugh, 'Is that supposed to be funny?'

Me 'No, I don't think it's very funny...I appreciate that you've been friendly these past few weeks, but I would like to become more intimate with you again'

I think H laughed a little more, 'I should go back to reading'

Me 'No, you let me start, this isn't very easy for me either. I know that it would be too much to ask that we ML tomorrow, but I would like to start spending more time with you. Could we possibly once or twice a week go to bed early and just spend time talking, or holding each other, and make a point of hugging and kissing when we leave/come home from work?'

H sort of laughs, wriggles like a 4 yr old, says he's got lots to do

Me 'You can wait for a little. Not ML, and having my affection pushed away builds up a lot of resentment in me, which I tend to take out on you. I want to do this so that I can start liking you again'

H 'Are you done? Why do you have to push me'

Me 'I'd like to know how you feel' (lots of squirming from H) 'I know it's a lot for you to think about, but can we talk again in a couple of days, say Wed., or Fri (I'm gone all day Thurs)?'

H 'I don't know...I'll have to think about it...I'm not sure'

Me 'I'm, we're only 40, I don't want to spend the rest of my life in a celibate marriage (actually, I think that line came earlier on, but you get the drift)

silence for a while...

H 'Can I ask you one thing?' 'Can you try not to be so confrontational? Like yesterday, and last week, when I asked you something innocent and you turned them into a big fight'

I almost blew it here, in my view, neither of these things were very innocent...and my 'fighting' to me was stating my POV, but I caught myself, since I was so pleased that this had gone this well, and realized he might see things a little differently than I do...

Me 'I'll try'

H 'Ok then, get out of here'

I went upstairs for a while, later on we watched some TV together. In an (un??)related statement, H says 'I've decided that this new arrangement here is no good (couch in front of TV rather than two chairs)'

Me 'Why?' H starts to reach over to move my foot, but stops himself - silence.

I would never have believed a week ago that we could have had this kind of convo, let alone that it would have gone this well, without H huffing off and me getting angry. So, I'll pat myself on the back

Somehow though, I suspect that was the easy part. For starts, I have to hold him to getting back to me...