Wise, MM is - good analysis. There's a section of PM at about page 110 on self-validated intimacy vs. other-validated intimacy. It seems that you and H (oh, believe me... my W and I have it too) are looking to each other for validation of your POV and sitch. This can be one of the most difficult issues to deal with in the beginning. Unfortunately, when there are children involved and conversations get interrupted, you sometimes have to start over.
I do hope that your H sees your efforts and doesn't feel intimidated by you. Also, you don't have to make major changes overnight... things should progress slowly. Just remember, there are lots of people here who have "been there, done that." I am always learning from them.
