I don't know. In other folk's situation, I usually offer some sort of PM-like way of creating an environment where the spouse has to deal with their own issues. But in your case, it seems a lot trickier. I really just want to tell you to be patient, kind, and understanding. She's apparently acknowledged the issue and wants it to change but I something in her heart is warning her. I just tried to find the page number PM that explains the issue in your marriage where you flip-flopped. As I was looking, I kept coming across my underlines and notes and realized that I need to read PM again. It's addressing my recent problems. I think this book can be re-read every time your reach a different "level".

But seriously, my gut says to figure things out first before worrying about sex. It is likely that you could behave LD. It would be interesting to see if you all would experience the flip-flop again. If so, that would indicate a highly fused relationship with "shared functioning". PM mentions this. Take another whack at it if you haven't already.

Anywhere is walking distance if you have the time -Steven Wright