Okay, I've been reading the archives again... really interesting stuff. I'll say it again: you people are so g-d SMART! And funny, too.
But to answer the question posed by the title of this thread: Yes you can love a spouse who has ND, but I don't think you can be truly married to them. To me, by definition, married love has a sexual dimension to it-- a sexual dimension to the feelings themselves. If a marriage has no sex in it, what makes it different from living with your parents, roommate, kids, etc.?
By sex, I don't necessarily mean the ol' in-and-out. I mean sexual vibes, tension, desire, energy between the two of you. If one person (or both, for that matter) became so physically disabled that any kind of genital or even physical stimulation were impossible, as long as they could still talk, type, or look at each other, they could communicate desire. Or if they were separated physically by distance (one is stranded permanently in a space station on Mars), they could still email or talk by radio.
But if one spouse truly does not see the other spouse as an actual or potential sex partner (even in fantasy), then it's not a sexual relationship, and in my mind, not a marriage.
Does this make sense, or am I way off base?
An analogy: To me, a meal, by definition, has to include food. You can buy the dishes, the groceries, the pots and pans, set the table, put on the music, light the candles... but unless there's food and the consumption thereof, there's no meal.
Interestingly... eating peanut butter crackers in the car COULD be a meal... have to think about the implications of this analogy... need Pringles...
