Quote: What do you play? I play flute in an English country dance band, and I also play pennywhistle and dumbek (an Arabic drum
I'm a flutist, do you play modern flute or 'simple system' in your band? I always thought it would be fun to pick up a simple system flute and play in a band like that.
Yeah, music does take you mind of things for a while, but the more I think about it, it puts me in the mood as well...
Quote: The other day my wife explained to me that when we ML now(two or three times a year), she grits her teeth, closes her eyes and counts the number of thrust - hopng it will all be over quickly.
I can't bear to read posts like this. They make me so sad. It's like seeing pictures of starving children. If I could I would organize a team of HD women to go around the country giving you guys the good kind of "mercy sex" that HD women know how to provide. I wonder if the "Sisters of Mercy Sex" would qualify for tax exempt status?
Has your W tried any medical means of dealing with her LD since it is so extreme? If not, I would think taking a strong stand to convince her that she should do this would be a good first step.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
My wife has been to the doctor and was told that her hormones are non-existant and that her only hope to regain any form of sexuality is HRT -she will not undergo this process for any reason.
She has also tried various herbal remedies with no luck. She refuses to go to a counsellor/sex therapist or other professional on this matter as she strongly believes they are not to be trusted for the most part. We have had many discussions on this topic fo about 4 or 5 years and about 5 years ago I gave up trying to battle her on this - the upset and indignation on her part over these episodes would carry on for weeks and months on end and was not worth the loosing battle.
She is totally set on her view that she is just fine and this situation is the norm because her mother, her sister and virtually all of her friends are in this state. Any arguements to the contrary, in her strong view, are just insensitive and that I need to deal with my sexual and touch needs on my own. We have covered this topic hundreds of times - sounds a lot like Michele's book doesn't it?
I am therefore trying to come to terms with whether I am really capable of facing a sexless/touchless existence from now on, whether it is possible (as a "HD" person) to love a ND spouse, or whether I should move on if there is no change in the situation. I am interested in the comments of the form readers as to whether it really is possible for a "HD" spouse to truly love, without a certain degree of resentment, a ND spouse.
Quote: her only hope to regain any form of sexuality is HRT -she will not undergo this process for any reason.
Are you sure she wouldn't do this if she knew the alternative was losing you?
Quote: I need to deal with my sexual and touch needs on my own.
I don't quite understand this. Does she want you to MB or see a call girl or what?
Quote: I am interested in the comments of the form readers as to whether it really is possible for a "HD" spouse to truly love, without a certain degree of resentment, a ND spouse.
I think you could truly love and accept a ND spouse for who they are, but you would still be miserable because you weren't having or anticipating having sex.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
In response to your question, my wife has stated that I should MB if I need sexual activity. I believe, however, that she wishes I became ND or at least parked my sexual needs until I grew too old to care.
In the band, I play a modern silver flute, but with a wooden head. I also have a simple system flute from the 1800s, but most of the time we play without amplification, and it's just not loud enough - and it's also a real challenge to play in tune. There are now modern simple system flutes that are much louder and more in tune than the early ones, which you often hear in Irish bands. But what would be authentic for our kind of music is the one-keyed Baroque flute, which is really kind of wimpy ;->
In response to your question, my wife has stated that I should MB if I need sexual activity. I believe, however, that she wishes I became ND or at least parked my sexual needs until I grew too old to care.
monk
Then castration it is. Perhaps you can get a sex change so you can better comiserate with her, her sisters and all of her LD friends.
"If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment." Henry David Thoreau
