I think the reason it is hard to accept an ND spouse is that they are deep down usually unable to accept a HD spouse. If she were really accepting of your HD and her own LD, then I think she wouldn't care if you were to have sex with someone else as long as you were able to remain loving towards her. I don't know if you've read PM, but I think this is what a lot of the examples in the book point to. If you want sex one evening and she doesn't want sex, why would she care if you went out to a bar and got it from someone else? If you or I or any HD person were to be as bold as the woman in the book who did this, we would see just how accepting of our HD nature our LD spouses really are and also just how truly disinterested they are in sex and how unimportant they actually judge it to be.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
