I am sorry to have to welcome you to the club of HDW with LDHs. The good new is that there is hope. I was every bit as miserable as you when I first joined this board. I have made a lot of progress and I feel much better about myself and much more hopeful about my marriage. I occasionally regress into anger and resentment, but I find that this board is a great place to vent both despair and frustration.
The first thing I will recommend is that in addition to Michelle's book, you should read Passionate Marriage by Schnarch. It is very helpful in a different way than SSM since it is more theory based and it is written by a high drive man. We HDWs are still waiting for the perfect book for us that would be written by another HDW, but until then combining SSM with PM is the best we can do.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
