Reading some threads here today and sort of just reinforces that it is really time I left the bb. I have been feeling out of place for a while now. There is no relationship to work on anymore, the divorce is final and it is time to try to let go of all that and move forward.
I am sure I will still post some for a while, and I don't think at this time anyone would still worry if I just quit, but used to if I wasn't posting constantly my friends here worried and I just wanted to be sure not to worry anyone ever again like I did over the past year and a half!
I mostly posted that first night in my new house so if anyone wanted a bit of a laugh. I did think it was funny, although at the time it was more like crazy!
Love you all and I'm not gone just going to try for a bit more distance. Plus I plan to still keep in touch with my friends that e-mail. Can't get rid of me that easily!
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
I have complete faith in you. I won't be worrying about you if you don't post. Instead I'll be smiling imagining all the wonderful and fun things you are doing!
Now, I do want to encourage you, if you need help/advice/companionship...don't forget about us!
I am not sure about the wonderful new adventure, but life goes on. I have started really focusing on trying to look at David as deceased. I am hopeful that will help me grieve and then move forward with the good memories and not all the bad at the end of our marriage.
I am so happy for you. Yours was one of the threads today that really pointed out to me that I really do not belong here anymore. Things with you and Monkey have worked out soooo GREAT!!!
I am glad you won't be worrying, you were one of the people I was concerned about. Sage would still be in touch so I didn't figure she would worry. So thank you for posting.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
Quote: Yours was one of the threads today that really pointed out to me that I really do not belong here anymore.
Hey PIB,
I hope you didn't take that the wrong way. I meant that in the nicest possible way. Just that reading your thread pointed out to me that I'm not doing here what here is for.
That's a great sentence.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
Pam - you don't need to leave the board - just move on over to Surviving the Big D - lots of people there doing what you are doing - check out my good buddy Davedave's thread, he's a really nice guy (You'll have to read his old threads to get his story.)
There you will find people who are rediscovering themselves. I think you'll find it encouraging. Mal's there still.
Thanks for the encouragement and the suggestion. I might do that later.
Right now I know I am very tired and strung a bit thin with running from house to house to do things. To start posting where none of my friends are would be something I would need to be more up to tackle.
I hope some of this is grieving and I am going to be able to totally let go and move on soon.
I am not sure as long as we jointly own the house if I will totally be able to let go or not. I am hoping after I am completely moved that will be a big step forward for me.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
You know I don't notice it as much when I am not down, but at these times I feel less of a person because David divorced me. Maybe like there is something wrong with me that he chose to have an affair and my friend chose to have an affair with my H and my other close friend chose to side with the affair and the divorce. Sometimes it seems such an awful tangle and almost unreal in a way.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
Quote: You know I don't notice it as much when I am not down, but at these times I feel less of a person because David divorced me. Maybe like there is something wrong with me that he chose to have an affair and my friend chose to have an affair with my H and my other close friend chose to side with the affair and the divorce. Sometimes it seems such an awful tangle and almost unreal in a way.
{{{PAM}}}
I'm sorry you're hurting.
Let me ask you this...what would your response be if one of your friends on the BB posted what you posted above? How would you counter (but in a validating way ) our claims that we were somehow flawed because our Ses cheater and possibly left?
I'm serious, friend. How would you answer?
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
I will have to try to think on this one. Been a long time since I had homework!
Thank you for the hug Ms. Sage. I at least know a part of this is due to monthly hormones and being tired, plus the additional stress now of work added to the stress of sorting through David & I's belongings to move.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
Just checking in, sorry to hear about all the ups and downs you are having and glad Sage is giving you homework to engage the rational side of your brain. Scary how quickly we can let rational thinking go out the window.
You did give me a laugh with the dogs, you'll be too exhausted with that group to give David a thought (wishful thinking, I know).
Can't get rid of me that easily! 
Yours was one of the threads today that really pointed out to me that I really do not belong here anymore. Things with you and Monkey have worked out soooo GREAT!!! 
) our claims that we were somehow flawed because our Ses cheater and possibly left?