I really don't see David as wanting to keep you as a friend so much as him wanting things to go smoothly...the least amount of conflict for HIM.
Given the circumstances in your sitch, I find it hard to imagine the two of you remaining "friends" in the way of keeping in touch a lot, sharing, doing stuff...I just don't see it.
He hasn't been your friend for a very long time, why now? Is he acting like a friend?
Things are still way too volatile, the inclusion of J who used to by your good friend just makes it all the messier.
Sure, my Bro and his W are still "friendly" 2 years after their breakup, but neither left the other for a particular person and the split was amicable.
I hate to say it, but it seems to me that "we can still be friends" might be an attempt on D's part to mollify you during this process.
Keep doing what is WORKING for you Pam, and there's a whole lot of it these days...a new home, new friends, your neighbour sounds great.
