I didn't make a lot of progress yesterday. I worked going through some of my clothes and stacking up more clothes to take to the new house.
Then guy called to bring David's wine rack over and waited around on him. He then went over to look at what I want in the way of fencing so the shelties have a yard.
He helped me get my timer on my sprinkler. Of course my sprinkler came on M told me and the whole time it was pouring down rain!
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
I really wish I saw a clear path to feeling better and how to deal with David.
I am just not sure I can manage a friendship with him. It would be nice I think but I haven't gotten over the J crap enough that I am sure I can deal with him and not let some of the bad feelings out.
He came over during work hours to see my new house. Then I found out today he has started doing his hair appts in the middle of the day as well. It is like he can't be in Indiana in the evenings.
My ASSumption is either he doesn't want to be because he wants to spend that time with J or that J doesn't want him over here. That ASSumption makes it very difficult for me to try to interact and remain friends with him.
I also asked him about a mutual friend yesterday who I have e-mailed and who answered me once but not anymore.
Apparently this friend has remained David's friend and possibly feels he can't be both of us friend? I guess between the loss of friends and David's family who I thought liked me and cared about me I have some emotions to work through that also rather interfer with my feeling a friendship can be built.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
I really don't see David as wanting to keep you as a friend so much as him wanting things to go smoothly...the least amount of conflict for HIM.
Given the circumstances in your sitch, I find it hard to imagine the two of you remaining "friends" in the way of keeping in touch a lot, sharing, doing stuff...I just don't see it.
He hasn't been your friend for a very long time, why now? Is he acting like a friend?
Things are still way too volatile, the inclusion of J who used to by your good friend just makes it all the messier.
Sure, my Bro and his W are still "friendly" 2 years after their breakup, but neither left the other for a particular person and the split was amicable.
I hate to say it, but it seems to me that "we can still be friends" might be an attempt on D's part to mollify you during this process.
Keep doing what is WORKING for you Pam, and there's a whole lot of it these days...a new home, new friends, your neighbour sounds great.
Boy...I remember the days when...well this is better, right?? 
Gag, sickening!!!!!!!!!!