Hi, thanks for replying! Since our "troubles" a couple of years ago, I've dealt pretty well w/him being gone so much.
As soon as we got to Ohio, he was going away at least 2 1/2 weeks each month, and now this. During the short trips, I never had any doubts about his fidelity, which I used to b/4 he dropped the bomb 2 years ago, so I guess I've come a long way since then.
Also, I am still living my "own" life. Meaning, I have friends, I do things on my own, as well as with him and our kids. I have my own interests, etc. I didn't have any of that b/4 the bomb, and I think that it has helped our marriage a great deal (since I "got a life" lol).
We have been talking about his going away, because we have to think realistically. This is a war situation, a very dangerous area and people are dying over there. We've been talking a bit about "will he come home", and also "I know he'll come home". I am praying everyday that while he is over there, he will be safe. We've also spoken about the cheating. Even though he has never slept with another woman, he still had an EA, which to me, is worse. He knows that if he cheats, or has another EA, he will come home to nothing. I will take the kids and go. I am NOT going through that crap again! I worked hard, along with him, to make this marriage stronger than it ever was, and if he can throw it all away, screw him. So, perhaps just knowing that this time, I won't be forgiving him, maybe that will keep him faithful, who knows. He swears he has no desire to cheat, is happier that he's ever been, etc. But, like I said, 5 months (or longer) is a heck of a long time. Men get urges that the women over there seem to be willing to satisfy.
I have been saying things to him like "how do i know you won't cheat", "are you going to be faithful" etc. I think now (thanks for the advice!) I will act as if. I will say thinks like (if it's brought up again, which it probably will be, lol) "I trust you, and know you will make, the right decisions".
