Well, I'm feeling guilty for hijacking other's threads so I decided to make one of my own. (Don't get me wrong, I still intend to hijack at will. )

Vacation in Mexico was very nice. Sleeping arrangements aren't conducive to sex (2 DBL beds in one room) so there wasn't any. But that was no surprise and I wasn't expecting any.

I had a great time with my kids. W and I mostly talk about them, so things were cordial but not close. She complained about it a few times, but there doesn't seem to be any EC to work from.

I realize that I'm still hurt about the duration of our SSM. Although she's apologized, it's been treated in a "get over it" manner. I'm the John Wayne, "you can't hurt me" type so perhaps it's expected of me, but I haven't gotten over it. I've explained it until my W has pleaded with me not to bring it up again, so there's nowhere else to go for resolution.

I see other couples interacting and enjoying each other's company instead of having to jump through hoops to get civil behavior and it just pisses me off. (Of course, I assume it's because they're having wild monkey sex every night of their M lives. ) I see other slob Hs get treated well by their physically fit Ws and it just makes me wonder what in the world is going on.

I've come to understand that it's never going to be what I dreamed it would be. We'll blame that one on the wrong dream. So, I'll continue to do what I can to make things better without losing respect for myself again. It's clear now that the changes of last month weren't about me. I'm just the spotlight for my W's life, necessary for the story to unfold, but not a character role.

Mike - CeMar lite