HD, Glad to hear the talk with D9 went well! I think I was one of the few people who thought it was a good idea. I still say that your W should keep her yap shut and not give D9 or XW any ammo, but that is her battle to fight.
D9 needs to know her boundaries in terms of what is the proper way to act. If your XW is encouraging her to be a tattletale and 'spy' then she will not know that this is really rotten behavior unless someone else tells her. She will think that all moms want their kids to spy, etc, kwim!
I'm sure you handled it in a way that she knew that she was not expected to protect your W or sugarcoat what she does/says, but rather that being somebody's stooge and spying for them is no bueno. Too bad her mom is such a whackjob.
