Thanks hp and mojo. She's already calming down...I knew she would.
I guess the trick (trick? probably not the right word) is to confront her about her irrational moods when she is calm and rational, perhaps a few days later.
My plan concerning the privacy issue is to talk to DD9, who is the most problematic about reporting back to her mom the goings-on over here. I also probably need to talk with ex about not encouraging DD9 to tell her what's going on over here, and, if possible to affirmatively discourage her from doing so. I don't know if it would work or not.
As far as tying this back into the sex issue, I suppose I can tell W that I am doing this for her in order to show my level of commitment to the R, but that I need her to continue toward what I need to see from her as her commitment to the R, which is ML to me at least 1x a week.
