Thanks, Denise and Mojo. Now she's really playing dirty, fighting in front of the kids, belittling me in fromt of them, saying outright that she will make my life hell and give the kids lots of things to tell their mom about which could give her grounds to ask for full custody.
Can anyone say 'power play'? Can anyone say "totally inappropriate and immature"?
So, I HOM and she says I'm belittling her. She mocks me, says I look over the top of my glasses and talk to her like she is a child. Well, I look over the top of my glasses because they are reading glasses. I talk calmly to her, but, despite the fact that she is acting like a child, I am not talking to her as if she were one. She sees the HOM as something I do TO her to piss her off.
Yes, I am living with an alien.
She finally calmed down somewhat before she left to go to a baby shower 150 miles away. I must say, I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw her drive away. My son is so confused and worried.
My W's issue is that she hates this town, hates her job, hates living in the 'burbs, and, most of all (today at least) hates the fact that she "has no privacy." Every thing that she says in front of her stepkids, every thing that she does in front of her stepkids, etc., gets reported to their mom, my ex (with whom I am not emotionally involved, btw). This, of course, is a gross exaggeration. Yes, some stuff is "reported." My attitude is: I will not ask the kids to lie to their Mom. Instead, I just edit my speech and actions when they are around. Not that much "editing" is required. She's just pissed that this conversation she had with DS13 got reported to exW. She knows, in retrospect, that it was an inappropriate conversation, in which she was implying that it was possible that their mom could be lying about some things. I know that ex is most certainly lying about this particular issue (not important what that issue is), but this is not a case where "truth is a defense." This is something that the kids will figure out in time and have to deal with. They are not ready (even at age 13 or 15) to deal with it yet. It's not her "job" to "make" them deal with it. I told her this, and she knows she screwed up. But, in order for her to deflect blame and criticism about this, she is going into hysterics about her "privacy." Yes, she even told me that she was upset with DS13 for being a [sigh] "tattletale."
What is a solution for this? Well, she is putting me in a position where I have to choose either my 3 kids from prior marriage, or her and DD3. I will not fall for this. I think there are other solutions to this problem, although, if forced, I will pick my kids. I'll get some sort of custody or visitation of DD3. But her forcing me into picking one over the other is just a losing proposition for both of us.
In the interest of keeping this at least mildly relevant to the SSM board, she tried to bring up the sex issue last night, and I told her that we needed to focus on the issue at hand, and that bringing up that subject would just muddy the issues.
I apologize for the length of this rant. I am venting, big time. Do you think I should move myself to the divorce-busting boards? I want to, if possible, stay here, as I know y'all and trust your advice.
