Hmmm. Interesting stuff here in your latest conversations. And lots of healing stuff for you, especially this:
Quote: He put forth the idea that so much more of our problems were due to him, and that he had "tried and convicted" me without ever giving me a chance to address our issues or try anything different. ... I had always considered myself a fairly perceptive person, and when I just could not wrap my mind around what my part in things was, it was a sledgehammer to my self-esteem.
Quote: In fact AFTER a speech in which he assures me he would would be crazy to ever jeopardise our marriage and family by getting involved with someone else, he drops the bomb - Bang!
Wow. Could have written that myself! Amazing the patterns of behavior that are here.
Maybe the idea that it really IS about them on a deeper level hits home more easily when we hear them say so themselves with honesty and vulnerability? That, it seems to me, is someone who has stopped running. Maybe just jogging now? Or running in place?
Seriously though, it sounds to me like you're having the kinds of honest conversations that are necessary to make a real friendship possible if that is what you both decide you want... and who knows what else you might decide you want.
I wonder how much of this forthcoming information and retrospect on his part is related to your point that you weren't ready to do the friend thing right now... some space and then a more centered approach to your conversations. Just a thought.
Keep doing what you know is right for you and you will be fine!
