Quote: He put forth the idea that so much more of our problems were due to him, and that he had "tried and convicted" me without ever giving me a chance to address our issues or try anything different. I don't know where this leaves us, but it is good to be talking more honestly about what went wrong. It also makes me feel less crazy for not seeing where things were headed when our marriage was falling apart, when I thought everything was fine. That is a huge load off my mind. I had always considered myself a fairly perceptive person, and when I just could not wrap my mind around what my part in things was, it was a sledgehammer to my self-esteem.
Hi Azure,
Yes, that bit is always the killer, isn't it?
In my case things were slightly different, in that I knew things were tense, but I spent ages trying to reach out to H, get him to come away for a break as just us three (H, self and D) as a family, which we hadn't done in ages, trying to discuss how to deal with difficult issues etc.
All I got in return was silence or refusal on his part. Bewildering. And then, out of the blue - in fact AFTER a speech in which he assures me he would would be crazy to ever jeopardise our marriage and family by getting involved with someone else, he drops the bomb - Bang!
Well Azure, I think I too will have to work on removing the "banner of sadness, guilt-mongering and anger from my forehead in dealing with H" and see where that gets me!
Livnlearn
"The unexamined life is not worth living" - Socrates
