Your posts meant A LOT as I am having a down day. Sigh. Shaky on the old self-esteem today.
Had a nice long talk with MIL yesterday. We haven't talked since BIL was missing. She sent a nice b-day card and said she misses getting together, so I called her ysterday. We are going to get together at the end of next month, due to individual trips. She told me all about BIL's memorial service--the one I wasn't invited to by H. It sounded very beautiful, and I'm glad. Nonetheless, it brings back the wound of rejection.
To top it off, the mediator called today. Says the further D papers I need to sign are in his office. Truthfully, I was wondering why H hadn't sent them back to me as he was supposed to, and I suppose some stray hopefulness crept in, that he was putting it off for some reason, couldn't bring himself to do the final thing. But, no, the mediator's been out of town for a week, so they've probably just been sitting there awaiting my signature. Feels like another kick in the gut...
But as we know, these kicks in the gut are yet another opportunity to address our unhealed wounds of the past! Right? Right!
Boy, am I having to reach deep within myself to find reserves of strength. This is freaking HARD sometimes. Grrr.
