My last thread Not sure how long I'll be in the Piecing section, unless just about piecing myself, but oddly enough, our D has been delayed because H forgot to sign some paperwork and send it to me back in April. He did mention it then, but it was when I had just found out my dad had gone into the final stage of his cancer, and 10 days before I left for Massachusetts for his passing, and the memorial service. I agreed (at that time) on a time to meet to do it (I see from my emails with him) but it never got done. Once I get it and sign it, it will be another 3 weeks - 3 months. H was really p*ssed at me and the mediator, I think, saying he never got those papers, until I found his email from April saying he had them & me agreeing to sign them. H says now he "needs some distance and time from trying to be friends" but that "this isn't permanent." Can I just tell you how tired I am of the sadness and madness... I ache for H recovering from his brother's suicide, but it just seems like we do each need a break to grieve our individual losses, which have been profound in this year.
Yesterday was the anniversary of the BOMB. Whoa. Of course it was a day or mixed feelings and strong emotions, but I am so amazed with myself that I survived this year! Yay, ME.
PS I have to say that I'm relieved that the D papers won't be arriving on my BIRTHDAY, as they were supposed to (ten more days).
Quote: Can I just tell you how tired I am of the sadness and madness...
Once again, I find myself right with you on this one, Azure. It's simply exhausting and against our nature to be so sad (& mad) all the time. But alas, I've got no words of wisdom this morning, no solutions, no switch to turn the glad light on . . . Though I do feel that perhaps that distance he talks about might be a good thing for both of you. I know it is in my case as well, though I've been unable to actually do it (yet...).
Quote: Of course it was a day or mixed feelings and strong emotions, but I am so amazed with myself that I survived this year! Yay, ME.
Yay, YOU is right!!!!!
As time passes, it really does get easier. the second anniv. of the day I asked H to move out is in Spet (it would also have been my tenth wedding anniv. ). I have realized how far I have come in that time. In fact, I just wrote about it in my thread.
Pretty soon you will look back to last year and realize you are in a better place now and that there is no way you would want to go back to those feelings!!
I am SO GLAD the papers aren't arriving near your birthday! Hope you have fun plans to celebrate your special day!!!
Happiness is like a butterfly: the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder.... (thoreau)
Yeah you is absolutely right! You did so well and you are still an inspiration as you have turned this pain around and made this process about YOU and not about him!
And thank the heavens above or the karmic influences or whatever is guiding the good things in our life that those papers will not be arriving on your birthday!
And I just want to put it here on the board to all of Azure's friends that I have met her and she is just as truly beautiful and wonderful and sweet and kind and generous in person as she is on the board! It was so great meeting you! Totally
((((Azure)))) I'm back from Toronto and catching up on threads.
So sorry to hear about all the recent issues with H. You are so strong, Azure. I know it doesn't feel like it now, but you DID survive the past year. You are a survivor!
Take some time for yourself. Maybe H is on to something - you do need a break from each other and from the R roller-coaster.
Thinking of you.
NSN My current thread LUVR ... Listen, Understand, Validate, and Respond
I'm a little glad to see the "hand of fate" interevene on the filing of the D. As far as your H needing space and time, and he isn't sure he can be your friend, take him up on it completely. Do it with as little anger and hurt as possible. MHO is that with some time he will see what a geek he is being.
I do think a lot of his reactions to your sitch right now has to do with his grief process. But we all have our own bag of tricks to deal with, you have your own too. Take care of yourself. I hope that you are feeling better with the passing of the aniversary.
Have you watched "What the bleep" yet? I am going to keep bugging you
jenhoco
Sometimes the lights all shining on me, other times I can barely see. Lately it occurs to me, what a long, strange trip it's been. -- Grateful Dead
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR AZURE, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!!!!!!!!
((((((((((AZURE))))))))))
I know I'm early, but I didn't want to miss it. Have a wonderful day....here's to creating NEW memories that will replace the OLD ones!!!
Happiness is like a butterfly: the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder.... (thoreau)
Hey Azure, I know you've been quiet here on your own thread - just wondering how you're doing - what you're working on. . .
Also, I picked up the workbook you've been talking about (Journey from Heartbreak to Connection), but have only had a chance to skim through some parts. It does seem to require some quiet blocks of time to work through, but also seems worth the effort. So thanks for the recommendation.
Hope you're doing well. The "DB Gal Pals" get-togethers sound wonderful from this coast!
). I have realized how far I have come in that time. In fact, I just wrote about it in my thread. 
