This whole thread has been enlightening for me - I'm glad I asked.
Heapmom's post is interesting, and may point to a motivation for my question that I was not aware of. If my wife became sexually responsive, I'd have to dismantle some barriers that I have raised, because if I'm always thinking of her sexually, I just can't stand it. So I pretty much put the idea of sex with her out of my mind.
I do think that positive visualization along the lines that the rest of you are suggesting may be helpful. I'll give it a try...
