My wife and I have agreed to start working with a sex therapist starting this month. A real victory, eh?

But in the meantime, the pressure of not having sex really gets to me. And at least in theory, masturbation should offer release. It does sort of, but I am finding that I have a hard time figuring out what to do with my head when I do it. If I think of my wife while I masturbate, I feel all the emotions of her pushing me away and being sexually closed to me, and that is a real turn off. But if I think of other women, I find that I spend more and more of my time thinking sexually about other women, and my eyes wander worse and worse. I've tried just focusing on the physical sensation, which sometimes seems to work well, but mostly not.

Any tips on how to use masturbation constructively to relieve sexual pressure in a relationship?

Jonathan


HD Male, married 20 years, 3 daughters