You know there is another solution to the can't relax in the chaotic house syndrome a lot of men experience. It's called a den. You don't have to have the whole house ship-shape all the time in order for your H to feel comfortable. Just help him keep his den in order. I don't mean you have to have a separate room that is just for him necessarily. Just some space in the house which he has control over. Think about Frasier's father. His den was his ratty old chair, a side table with a cold beer and a remote control and a clear line of sight to the TV. This and a closet they don't have to share is all a lot of men need. If they are handy, they might need a workshop free of kid's bikes. If they like to cook, they might want you to keep the kitchen clean and stocked. I'm just trying to save you wasted effort. I try to do what I can to make my H comfortable, but I would go crazy if I tried to keep everything perfect in my 140 year old house inhabited by lazy teenagers and a naughty cockadoodle.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
