Quote: If he feels that way he should pitch in and share the responsibility.
That was my "knee jerk" reaction as well...here's the deal though. I'm sure he feels he works a full-time job, does all the outdoor keep up of our home and property (35 acres), helps with our son...and then comes in sees a somewhat (not trashed out) house...and probably thinks I'm not pulling my weight....even though he'll admit he knows how difficult it is to get anything done while trying to keep up with our son.
Quote: If that is the hang up then he has the problem and you are doing all you can to keep him happy.
Ah, but I wasn't doing all I could to keep him happy...because I didn't know what comfort a tidy home gives him...I didn't know it was a "need" of his...I don't think he knows that himself. It equates to him feeling taken care of, loved, nurtered...these are all good things....and the "needs" that fullfill those requirements can be different for each of us. His C also suggested that the more I put extra effort into maintaining the house and meeting that need of his that he'll eventually do things to help me out such as putting his dishes in the dishwasher instead of in the sink for me to take care of. Make sense?
This is is the beginning of change for both of us...and if I have to do this to start the ball rolling...I will. This doesn't mean I have to turn into Martha Stewart (not that I would, she's far too tightly wound for me)...I just need to make the extra effort. It's really not asking that much, especially if you love someone and you want them to be happy.
