Hi Greenie! My H likes a clean house too. I too resisted it for a looong time. Now? Who cares, I say. So we have a 1950's thing going on where I run around the house before he gets home and straighten up...who really gives a crud? It works for us. And once I realized that he likes clean counters, dishes done, no clutter and toys on the floor, it made it a lot easier. I think at first I was picturing myself mopping and scrubbing toilets every day and just thought, On top of everything else I do???
But it was a basic straightening up that he wanted and it really IS easy. It takes me less than a half hour to get everything done and when he walks in, he has described it as feeling a peaceful and serene feeling as opposed to a chaotic feeling. Not that he was expected to clean it up when he got home...it just looked chaotic to him and that was his initial impression upon entering our home. In other words, the clutter and crud gave him the heebie jeebies. So I clean it up and he really is a happier person. Plus I am speaking his love language, blah blah. He is an ex-Marine so no doubt the spic and span-ness of that organization has carried over into his personal life.
Whatever. It truly is such a small thing that I don't mind doing it.
Here is the thing though: I do it because I WANT him to have that peaceful feeling. There is no ulterior motive on my part...I do not expect sex in return..I do not feel bitter if he doesn't ante up the sex in return for a clean house. I do it because my own sense of integrity calls me forward to meet his needs, regardless of what he is doing. I want to be a good wife and it is not contingent on him being a good husband. Kwim?
So try not to set up expectations in your head of "hey if I do this, he will feel loved and respected and want to meet MY needs". Maybe he will, maybe he won't. The idea is to do something that makes him feel loved, regardless.
This was a hard concept for me to wrap my mind around for a very long time. There is still one HUGE love language of his that I can't bring myself to do regularly (stubborn!!) and I honestly don't know what my holdup is. Pride, fear, disinterest, laziness, sadism..a combination of all of these probably. I am working on it, though, and just today made a pact with myself to JUST DO IT.
Anyway, just wanted to chime in and wish you luck and tell you that it is doable, even with little ones, and you can do it girl!
