I don't THINK I'm the type of person to smother someone. I do think that I am insecure about our relationship because of the lack of intimacy and physical closeness that exists. I would also suggest that she has an exceptionally low tolerance for closeness. Of course, that's my side of the story. I will say that I have never been accused of smothering anyone in a previous relationship. Maybe I'm a smotherer in denial but I really don't believe that.

I have told her all of this and she responds by clamming up unless I instigate an all out fight.

I do not feel like she is working on this marriage at all. If she is, she is not verbalizing the effort and it appears to be superficial at best. She has expressed her desire to "just wait and see".

She called me twice today. I am amazed by her need to maintain constant polite contact despite her seeming indifference towards our current problem.