W had complained that I don't initiate phone calls with her while she is away (I don't). So I decided to call her on Wednesday night to see how she was doing. I left a message but never got a call back.
Yesterday morning she called and told me she had a huge hangover because she had been out drinking at several bars until 1:00 a.m.
I got pissed and told her that I am growing increasingly frustrated with her drinking, immaturity, irresponsibility, and disrespect.
She blew up and after a few F--- Y--'s, she hung up the phone.
She called back later and told me that she doesn't want to be controlled, that I need to find some hobbies and get out of the house once in a while myself. She is feeling too much pressure to just "sit around the house with me" and she can't and won't do that. She needs to be busy all of the time. I told her I was glad to hear her express these feelings and that I wish I didn't have to start a fight to get her to tell me these things.
It seems that I view a marriage as the primary focus of my life. I like to come home after work and be close with my wife (talk, cook, walk, watch TV, or just be in the same room). I feel like she views this marriage as the thing she falls back on when the party is over or she doesn't have any other plans.
I feel like we're slowly breaking the gridlock here. W keeps expressing that she is running out of patience with the awkwardness and pain. She's never been one to hang around long when things get tough, so I am preparing for her to give up soon.
