I don't believe that my S has ever had an EC to another person. Ever. That's what I am most concerned about. I MUST have it in order to remain in this relationship (and I think SHE must have it too, or why stay married?), but can someone like her make it happen at 30 years old?
The drinking isn't getting any better. You see, my wife is the type that can't sit still. If she is sitting still, she is depressed. She flutters around 20 hours a day like a moth near a street light. Right now she doesn't have enough to keep her busy, so the R is feeling the pressure. It's as if she looks to me for constant entertainment and stimulation. I can be a fun guy, but there's no way I can give her what she is asking for in terms of new & exciting activities 7 days a week. It's costing me a small fortune just to keep her happy on the weekends. So she drinks, I believe to calm the depression that even an hour of "downtime" brings her. Both the drinking and the inability to relax with oneself point towards some larger issue, but I really don't know what it is. I do know that all of the women in her family are the exact same way.
As for an update, she has been out drinking the last 3 nights. Last night I tagged along out of curiosity. She got drunk and loud. Told everyone at the table that she thinks she's developing a drinking problem ha ha ha. I wasn't impressed, but I hung in there and didn't let it bother me.
When we got home she told me that she had skipped her therapy yesterday (for the second time in 3 weeks) and that she would not be going back for any more therapy.
Her 30th birthday is approaching, so I am giving her a ton of slack on the drinking and moping. Soon after, I plan to start pressing the issue in a calm, but persistent way until it gets resolved one way or another.
I'm interested (in an intellectually curious sort of way)in what my wife's hangup is regarding intimacy. But don't worry about fixing it for her any longer. The time is fast approaching for her to make an effort to meet my needs, or tell me that she will not or cannot.
