I just read your post, and I can totally relate to your situation as a HDW. Your W sounds just like my H. I know how frustrated you are, and I feel for you. I have just finished SSM, and I am trying techniques from the book. I just started them this week. So far, no LM, but I am not giving up.
I need the EC as well and ML gives that to me. My H is just the opposite. He needs the EC first and then the LM. However, getting EC to him could take months, and in the past, I had trouble spending months because I would become resentful and very impatient. Right now, I am focusing on helping him to relax more.
About her going out and drinking, that really concerns me. People usually drink to numb themselves to things. What is she trying to numb? Have she ever indicated that there has been any sexual abuse in her life? Just wondering. I wish you the best of luck. You have been very patient. I have been married for 20 years, and I love the relationship with my husband other than the frequency of our LM.
Wow! You need the EC, and she doesn't even like to be touched. That's tough! Have the two of you ever been to counseling together? It sounds like it is urgently needed.
Hang in there, and keep us posted. We are there with you!
