Quote: 1. Read PM (Passionate Marriage by David Schnarch) 2. Work on on your anxiety by any means necessary. It seems scary and unsolvable now but have faith that you can have results. 3. Don't worry about what she is thinking, or feeling...just focus on your own feelings about her behavior. ie. don't take responsibility for her moods, actions or feelings. Just focus on what YOU want and how you want to be treated. In a month or so, you will start taking a series of "stands" which will break the gridlock. Why so long? It will take a while to rewire your brain so that your thinking is "instinctive". This "rewire" is the real 180.
1. Done 2. Was doing well until last night. 3. I'm inching closer to the differentiated mindset. I responded outwardly to last night's failed attempt at initiating sex in a calm, pleasant, yet slightly distanced way. Inside I was fuming, but I knew that those thoughts were undifferentiated, so I resisted them. Today I am receiving a surprising amount of affirmation from my S. I like it, but am I being manipulated?
Next step is a less passive approach, correct? "These are my needs...."
