Again, thank you. I am following most of these steps already and she is showing signs of life.
Quote: 3) When you are together and things are going well give her a full body massage. A $2 bottle of baby oil works great and every grocery store has it. You don't need a $20 bottle of massage oil. If this doesn't fire her up then something really isn't right.
Well......I hate to say this but......she doesn't like to be touched.
That's right. Not at all. Not by anyone. I have tried to buy her one of those spa treatments with the massage and pedicure and all that. She won't go. Touch her around the face, neck, head, shoulders and she flinches and recoils. Hugging makes her uncomfortable. Handholding makes her nervous and sweaty. I am fairly certain it's not just me. I see her react similarly around family and friends. She gets uncomfortable watching other people hug or kiss. She claims she's always been this way. I noticed that her whole family avoids physical contact except for polite "pat on the back" type hugs.
If I even offered to give her a massage or buy her one, she would be repulsed.
I know there's other issues and areas for improvement, but I believe that sex/intimacy is going to make or break this marriage. It always comes back to this issue and the hurtful way both of us have been dealing with it.
I am working to break down the walls that I have built and I believe (before last night) that I have made some progress.
I'm wondering now if I can get something back that I never had in the first place.
