Listen to the Mechanic - the only way to go is to be the best you can for you. This will make you better for your W too as a side effect. It is a long road and often seems very lonely. I tend to drift into episodes of melencholy where I wonder why I am doing this, but I expect that to happen and then she does something that reminds me why I love her - not to mention our one year old son!
This is the best place for support and opinions! Just watch out for people like me who speak out of frustration some times.
I am new on my DB journey and I actually started with SSM because I thought the problem was 100% sexual (it was from my point of view). However, I have learned that for her sex was a side issue that was just pushing her further from me every time that I tried to make it all about sex.
I can see improvement in my sitch and hope - although different from your sitch in many ways disturbingly alike in the progression of the physical relationship - that you come to see improvement in your sitch! I have changed in ways that I didn't anticipate and wouldn't have wanted to, but in hindsight I am happier than when I started my journey.
Jeff
"As soon as somebody falls in love, all the wits seem to dribble out the bottom of his head." Garion from Castle of Wizardry. And Jeff is obviously in love.
