Hi DB! Thanks for reading the saga; I try to keep it interesting for the general public's viewing pleasure.
In regards to your questions..you know, I never really did go for the bad boys. I intentionally sought out good guys, the type that would make good relationship partners. I know for a fact that one of them turned out to be LD and as I think back on the others I can see that they exhibited LD tendencies although the R's ended before I ever really found out. I did date a few HD guys but they were not the ones I wanted a relationship with. One was a complete jerkoff and the other was an unrequited love..he was more interested in playing the field, the horny bastard! lol
Most of my R's were with lower-key guys who did not exhibit a lot of "horniness" while dating. At the time, I thought they were showing restraint and politeness but now I'm not so sure. Perhaps it was just easier for them to control their sex drives than for their HD brethren. Who knows.
I also dated many guys who were GREAT marriage material. Would have made wonderful husbands...what made me zero in on my H, you ask? (come on, humor me:)
I felt an uncontrollable desire to be with him, sexually. He just DID IT for me, kwim? And it wasn't his physical appearance (although that was perfect in my eyes and still is), it was the whole package. Now with me being HD, I think I could drum up some desire for just about any man I was with, but with H it was different. It was a primal urge to be close to him..connected to him. And again, it was his personality, his body, his voice, his buzzcut jarhead haircut, etc!
I knew then that I had met my match. He met all the criteria that I would want in a mate plus he drew me to him like a magnet and I thought he was smokin hot.
But I DO get your point, loud and clear. This man has so many attractive qualities that I should focus on...I'm missing out on so much of him because of my hyperfocus on this one shortcoming. I am well aware that should something ever happen to me, there will be a line a mile long of ladies trying to get their hands on him. He is handsome, hardworking, absolutely the funniest person you'll ever meet, physically fit, loves life, loves God, loves his children. Oh and me too, but we're talking if I were cut outta the picture here...
On that same note, I don't think he really understands clearly what the implications are of his not stepping up to the plate. I will not leave him--we are Catholic and we will not divorce. So I think this gives him a false sense of security. Also he is somewhat of a hopeless romantic (I was his first girlfriend at 27 yrs of age--why that didn't tip me off, I don't know) and he simply cannot understand that there could ever come a day when I do not love him anymore. To him, once you pledge your love to someone, that's it. You just always love them.
He can be maddening but as you say, his good qualities far outweigh the bad. My hope for him is that he learns to be sexually aggressive and get OVER himself once and for all.
Thanks for writing back; I will be over at your thread soon!
