Quote: But my original question stands: What to do when the HD partner wants to be attacked? Without having to ask for it or plan for it, which would obviously ruin the experience? I don't want this often (it is very difficult for H and I do have a lot of empathy for him) but once in a while is really important to me. I just can't figure out how to make it happen.
I am still getting over this notion that some women like to be "attacked"! This goes completely against all of my post-feminist sensitivity training. I'm writing Gloria Steinem a nasty letter, that lying bitch!
The other thing I can't get over is that your H, who was a Marine sniper, is afraid that you, a woman who would like to get boinked ~5x/wk, will shoot him down if he initiates. Isn't it ironic? Don't you think?
Ok, here is an idea. I do think you need a signal for when you want him to "invade your beachhead" (maybe the military talk will get him hot). Maybe you should wear a particular ring on the middle finger of your right hand. Whatever it is, it doesn't matter.
But here is the really important thing. He doesn't have to do anything about it if he doesn't want to. Sometimes he should "charge up the hill and plant his flag", obviously, but sometimes, he should lay off. The element of surprise is important, as when Eisenhower invaded Normandy. It would actually be like a tease, and could make the whole thing more spontaneous and feel less obligatory.
Then again, maybe he likes taking orders: "OK GOMER, NOW SCREW YOUR PECKER ON TIGHT AND DO YOUR DUTY TO YOUR WIFE, OR YOU WILL PULL KP DUTY FOR A WEEK. DID YOU HEAR ME? MOVE IT! MOVE IT! MOVE IT!" Of course, the problem with this approach is that you will have to get a buzz cut and where green all of the time.
Semper Fi,
SM
"If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment." Henry David Thoreau
